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I see this phrase a lot now, so maybe it is a new trend emerging. But trends pass, so I’m curious what will stay in the long term. 

I remember when Leading with Love was first discussed with the board in 2022, half expecting that they would say “oh, Liz, isn’t that nice.” Instead it led to one of the richest discussions that year, with board members diving deep to unpack what it meant to them and why it aligned with the culture of North Sound ACH and the work we do in the region. 

We have multiple frameworks that guide our approach. Separately each is critical, but when intertwined they are incredibly powerful – honoring tribal sovereignty, advancing equity, using targeted universalism, centering belonging, using the vital conditions for health and well-being, and leading with love. It is the last one – love – that is on my mind this month. 

Leading with love can sound soft or even passive – a ‘nice to have’ concept when you’re sitting singing songs around a campfire. But it takes commitment to embed and use love every day. Especially when things are hard, confusing, or we feel like we, or someone we care about, is under attack (whether real or perceived). Our innate human tendency is to defend, counter-attack, and to look to active allies for protection. 

Embedding the notion of ‘leading with love’ emerged from listening to a podcast featuring john powell about grief. What I took away was this: you cannot grieve without love and you cannot get to belonging without love. The next week, we had our first draft of five principles – compassion, care, community, courage, and curiosity. But we recognized that it would be easier to lead in this way when in a room of like-minded people who are enjoying each other’s company. We would be tested when things got difficult. That is when we know whether we took the principles seriously or not, and were willing to spend time on them when pushed. 

Love is intentional, a choice we make, and it takes just as much work to embed as any best practice or new tool. We can lead with suspicion, or fear, or anger, or our own past experiences. And we can choose to lead with love even when those other emotions or experiences want to crowd out love. That is the opportunity we have within our network and within our own relationships. How do I want others to act toward me if they hear a rumor, a story, someone’s challenging experience with me? 

My mom had a phrase that she used when we were growing up – ‘there but for the grace of God.’ She didn’t say it in a religious way, but in recognition that any one of us could be that person on the news, the person being arrested, the person who lost their apartment, was facing illness without insurance, etc. Coming from a very large family there was always something going on with someone. We didn’t distance ourselves from hard times, we circled around the person and made sure they did not feel isolated, but instead surrounded by love.

We have colleagues, partners in the Network, who we hear things about, and when we do we reach out to them hoping to hear from them firsthand what they are experiencing, and offer support where we can. I’m probably not surprising you, not all Network partners support the open nature of the Collaborative Action Network. People know things about organizations, practices and people in personal ways that our team may or may not. The door to the Network is broadly open, and we think that those who stay in the Network do so because of the opportunity to build relationships, meet new partners and collaborate on work. 

We ask everyone in the Network to commit to the same things. Their actions will show how they embrace and embed those commitments. But we get asked “how do you hold members of the network accountable?” The truth is that we don’t have accountability measures. The Network is an opportunity for transformative change. North Sound ACH helps facilitate those opportunities, but assessing and measuring partners in their commitments happens when an organization is selected by the Review Committee for capacity building dollars. Then we have a role in assessment, monitoring, and reporting. 

The past month has been challenging for many to watch polarization around a partner organization play out in the media. It has caused pain and heartache. And it has allowed staff and partners to step in and lead with love. Not judgment, but compassion. Not assumption, but curiosity. Not shunning, but care and community. And that takes courage when others expect you to do one thing only. 

The past 10 days have also been nourishing when it was most needed. Infusions of energy helped sustain the weary days. Some examples to share:

• – Being present for the launch of the Setting Sun Institute was inspiring and generated so much hope, not only for the future, but for now. Young leaders stepping into leadership roles, guiding us to a future that they co-design was incredibly powerful to witness. (see their release down below!)
• – Alongside was an event hosted by Children of the Setting Sun at the Paramount Theater in Seattle – Netse Mot: One People Gathering. All I could think was how I wanted more of this! If you were not able to attend, you can watch the recording here. 
• – Our colleagues at Thriving Together North Central Washington held their first partner convening, and invited Cynthia Andrews and I to be on a panel to talk about the North Sound experience. Being in space as they launched their journey was so powerful and we learned a lot from them throughout the day. Having space that allows collaborative discussion is a courageous thing to do, and the richness of dialogue and desire to work together around the Vital Conditions was amazing to experience. 
• – And lastly, last night Nanc and I went to see a performance of “Come from Away,” a musical retelling of what happened on 9/11 when 38 flights were directed to Gander Newfoundland, a community of about 9,000 people that welcomed 6,800 stranded passengers. Going back to the emotions of 9/11 was hard, but imagining what it would be like for my community to replicate what Gander accomplished – providing shelter, supplies, food, medications, health care needs, in multiple languages – while dealing with their own fears and biases during that traumatic week. I don’t know that I can imagine Bellingham doing that same thing, yet I can hope that we could. 

All told, I’m reminded that most of us can choose whether we lead with fear, suspicion, distrust, or we leave ourselves open to opportunities for connection, humanity, and profound relationships. I hope that we continue to choose the latter, but it requires trust in each other. That is where transformation can occur, and lead us to all communities thriving. The past week of connections came when I most needed them. (I’m sure there is a message from the universe in that somewhere.) I hope you get to be infused with connections like that as well. 

Thanks for being on this journey with us – 

This phrase has been on my mind for several months. Just about every week I get to spend time with partners who are doing creative and important work that is fueled by passion and commitment, but not always supported financially to be sustainable. We try to imagine what it would take to make those efforts become the norm, to be part of the mainstream strategies that are supported by policy and revenue. Some examples follow from my last couple of weeks –  

I watched a film called Daughters, about a program in Washington DC that connects daughters with their fathers through a dance that occurs inside of the carceral facility where they are held. It is a moving story about the children and parents, but also an incredibly powerful portrayal of how dehumanizing the system can be – limits to in-person visits (called ‘touch visits’) and even facilities that do not allow any visitation at all. We can’t criticize others for inhumane conditions when we also do that here. The backstory behind the dance was gut wrenching to absorb. Yet, the filmmakers stated that 95% of the men who take part in the dance do not re-offend when they are released – the impact of one day of reconnection and being treated as full and important human beings.

For example, people who are incarcerated depend on for-profit systems in order to call family members; the average cost can be as high as $50 to $100 per month. And when their families don’t have those funds, that means there is no contact. Here is the average cost of calls for each state. So dreaming out loud – being treated as a human is healing, and our carceral facilities are not geared in that way, but imagine the power of abolishing what we do today, replacing it with something that is focused on healing people who make their way through jails and prisons. In the framework of targeted universalism – what could be our universal goal?

Washington is one of several states implementing a Jail Reentry benefit through its Medicaid program. It reopens their Medicaid benefit 90 days before release, allowing payment for clinical services to bridge from incarceration to community upon their release. Alongside this, North Sound ACH began a Community of Practice with community organizations who work with people while they are incarcerated, and walk alongside them after their release. (The participants named itself Re-Integration Community of Practice, rather than Reentry). One of those partners (Underground Ministries) shared their set of principles that underpin their work, and one of those is ‘dreaming in decades:’ recognizing that many people who have lived experience with incarceration see dreaming as a privilege that they don’t have – survival is overwhelming just by itself; dreaming is too far to reach. They aim to change that.

The North Sound ACH Partner Convening was on August 15, and each time we come together it is a slightly different combination of people, and growing more diverse each time. The Collaborative Action Network is growing and changing, aiming to find ways for partners to meet, learn about and collaborate with each other.  We have intentionally tried to keep our gatherings to about 200 participants, but as the network grows we have to decide about future gatherings – make them larger or hold more focused smaller convenings. (There are currently 170 organizations in the Collaborative Action Network, and more on the horizon.) We’ll be reaching out to you in the near future to help the thinking for that strategy.

North Sound gets invited to meetings across the country because of our guiding frameworks (honoring tribal sovereignty, equity, targeted universalism, belonging, the vital conditions for well-being, and leading with love.) But it is also because of you. In August we were invited to the Inland Empire for a conference with 600 attendees, and it was amazing because instead of me, we sent Cynthia Andrews from our team, Jason McGill (CEO for Northwest Youth Services and North Sound board member) and Kevin Riley (also a board member, and pastor at Mount Baker Presbyterian Church). I wanted the Inland Empire to hear from them about what we’re aiming for, and I can’t wait to invite you to share your stories as well. They got a standing ovation for speaking as themselves – and so would you!

My dream – that my children and grandchildren will want to live here, rather than looking for another place to live solely because that other place feels more welcoming, or makes them feel like they will be a better fit there. North Sound can be that place too, but we cannot do this alone, and it isn’t an easy journey. We must work together to make this region a place where all community members feel like they belong; where we all see each other as whole human beings; where we are loved.  

Thanks for joining us in this work!

Be well –